"We" and "Us"

If you've been reading the previous posts, you've noticed that they're all published by me and thus written in my voice. You may have also noticed I refer to "we" and "us" when discussing the decision-making process and/or the status of the pregnancy.

I think it's clear to say everyone recognizes that I am not actually carrying the baby. People may also be wondering how much input a person not carrying the baby can have on the decision.
This is an incredibly strange position for a man to be in. All the fathers out there can identify with attempting to sympathize with their partner while she does all the hard work: gaining weight, losing sleep, having their body taken over, not to mention actually delivering the baby [if you've only witnessed child birth through the "real-life" movie they show in Health class, you have no idea. The nurse's insisted on putting a chair behind me during delivery because it's not unusual for dad's to pass out. Fortunately (or unfortunately) I've seen worse and was at no risk of passing out. Some of you out there - and I have a few of you in mind - make sure you know precisely where that chair is because you'll need it]. With any pregnancy there is a fine line between identifying and annoying. As they get more pregnant, they get more irritable, and it's perfectly within their rights. This is when you need to be careful, as a man.

The point here is this: I recognize that I can't possibly know what my wife is feeling just being pregnant. There is no way I can attempt to know what she is feeling as she carries a baby with a potentially fatal condition. My goal in this process is simply to identify and support. I hope I am doing a good job.

And as for the decision-making process, for the curious, I went full-circle. Erin knows this now so I guess I can share it. Mt first instinct was to end the pregnancy at diagnosis. I didn't share this at the time. After countless conversations with Erin, where my sole intention was to present both sides of the decision, I decided that what I really needed was to meet the baby. Erin decided this for herself as well. Sitting back and letting Erin decide was always my intention, I only offered input when asked. In the end, it's just fortunate we both saw things the same way. It made an incredibly tense time in our lives more manageable in that we had no tension between us.