Meeting of the Minds

Erin and I are completely fried. Luckily Erin writes things down or I'd be totally lost. I had a surgeon tell me last night we had met already yesterday morning. I do recall meeting someone, and that he was a surgeon, but if you had lined him up with nine other people I wouldn't have been able to pick him out.

So there are a few reasons for my long break without an update. Number one is above.

Number two is my trip to Boston; it totally threw me off schedule. Forty-two hours away from the hospital and I lost all track of what was going on. I really thought I would be able to update on Saturday afternoon but so many new medical developments arose that I didn't feel in the loop enough to write anything. I am slowly catching up.

Number three is that I was in a bitter spell: probably the result of numbers one and two. I think I may have caught up on sleep enough to overcome this now. However, I saw no point in writing something that was laced with bitterness and anger (sarcasm and cynicism I have no problem with). Sure we like to share things, but why bum everyone out when most of what you have is bad news?

So for updates on things that may have happened since Friday, check Erin's journal here.

Sunday night Erin went home to get some decent sleep. She hadn't had a good night sleep since before Molly's surgery. I stayed at the hospital with Molly. When Erin got back to the hospital Monday morning I headed to work. By 3 pm I was back at the hospital because one of the surgeons, an attending cardiologist, our nurse, and a social worker had scheduled a meeting with us for "between 3 and 4." At 4:48 our nurse brought us into a conference room where the social worker was waiting. At 4:50 the surgeon came in (the one who told me we'd met that morning) and told us he had five minutes. I actually had to physically stuff the words back into my mouth as they came out so as not to upset anyone right off the bat. I actually decided at that point to say very little for the rest of this meeting. Surgeon started talking and then the cardiologist joined us.

Basically the surgeon told us they needed to perform one test to rule out something and then after that they'd do a biopsy that would test for something else [I'm sparing you the details, but all these tests involve intestines, bowels and colons - so you're welcome]. Apparently they felt the need to get us all in a room to share their "planned course of action".

Then the surgeon excused himself, kindly gave us the go-ahead to page him any time, 24-7, and left the meeting in the hands of the cardiology attending. He then said something about how the cardiologists would proceed in treating Molly "medically" after the surgeons had explored all their "surgical" treatments.

Bottom line: Molly's heart and lungs look good. Heart surgery did what it was supposed. But other issues have arisen that they are treating now. More surgery (for things other than her heart) don't seem likely right now, but she is pretty uncomfortable. She is being treated with antibiotics, this is day five of seven. After all the tests are done, and the antibiotics are finished, they will slowly begin feeding her again. The schedule for going home is not even on the table right now. I'd guess at least five more days.

Erin and I were talking about the Jerry Springer show yesterday. In college I used to skip a Philosophy 101 class at least once a week to watch Springer. I tried to explain to Erin how it was a better show then: real people, fewer fights, and thought provoking "Final Thoughts" from Jerry that could be applied to real life, even if you weren't an exotic dancer toying with the idea of becoming a man. So in honor of the Jerry Springer Show circa 1995, my final thought:

When your actions have a direct impact on others, it's even more important to keep open lines of communication. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own desire to complete a task or reach a goal that we forget to keep the people informed who will be imperative assistants along the way. Inevitably something falls through the cracks and fingers begin to be pointed. Then we actually take two steps back. If we'd all just work together from the beginning we could avoid a lot of frustration and missed opportunities. When you sense someone's frustration, bring them in the loop right away. A lot of things can be worked out over an impromptu discussion of what you're planning and how you plan to get there. It doesn't always have to be a meeting. But if it is a meeting, make sure the agenda is clear and concise. Don't be late. And by all means, make sure you actually accomplish something before the meeting breaks. Until next time take care of yourself, and each other.